The Fat Vegans

Like the title says. Lots of folks are vegan because they want to cut fat and lose weight. We aren't. We like fat, and sugar, and frying things. We like plant based food that puts you into a food coma. We're fat vegans and we love it.
yummyvegan: Vegan Bratwurst ● 1 ¼ c vital wheat gluten ● ½ c cooked cannellini beans, mashed ● ¼ cup nutritional yeast flakes ● 1 tbsp fennel seeds ● ¼ tsp coarsely ground black pepper ● 1/2 tsp smoked paprika ● ½ tsp ground paprika ● 1 tsp red pepper flakes ● 1 tsp dried oregano  ● 1 tbsp olive oil ● 1 c Jain broth ● 2 tbsp soy sauce ● 2 dashes liquid smoke ● 6 3½ x 7” strips of aluminum foil Directions Get the foil and steamer ready. Put an inch of water in the bottom and bring it to a simmer while you’re mixing the ingredients together. In a large bowl, mix together all of the dry ingredients. Add the olive oil, broth, soy sauce  and liquid smoke, and stir until mixed.Split dough into 6 parts and shape into 5″ logs. Place logs on piece of aluminum foil and roll up tightly, twisting ends. (The tighter you roll them, the more they’ll keep their shape.) Place sausages in steamer and steam for 40 minutes. Et Voila. Grill them if you want. *GRAAAABBYYY HAAAAANDS*

yummyvegan:

    Vegan Bratwurst
    ● 1 ¼ c vital wheat gluten
    ● ½ c cooked cannellini beans, mashed
    ● ¼ cup nutritional yeast flakes
    ● 1 tbsp fennel seeds
    ● ¼ tsp coarsely ground black pepper
    ● 1/2 tsp smoked paprika
    ● ½ tsp ground paprika
    ● 1 tsp red pepper flakes
    ● 1 tsp dried oregano 
    ● 1 tbsp olive oil
    ● 1 c Jain broth
    ● 2 tbsp soy sauce
    ● 2 dashes liquid smoke
    ● 6 3½ x 7” strips of aluminum foil

Directions

Get the foil and steamer ready. Put an inch of water in the bottom and bring it to a simmer while you’re mixing the ingredients together. In a large bowl, mix together all of the dry ingredients. Add the olive oil, broth, soy sauce  and liquid smoke, and stir until mixed.

Split dough into 6 parts and shape into 5″ logs. Place logs on piece of aluminum foil and roll up tightly, twisting ends. (The tighter you roll them, the more they’ll keep their shape.) Place sausages in steamer and steam for 40 minutes.

Et Voila. Grill them if you want.

*GRAAAABBYYY HAAAAANDS*

The Oh-Shit I Forgot to Make Lunch Fat Vegan Salad

I hate waking up. I hate waking up so much that I regularly fall out of bed at the last possible second. Like this morning. Also, I was up working until midnight on a project, meaning I did not prepare a lunch last night. 

This is a problem when you are a vegan who has an office in the middle of a food desert.

So this morning, 15 minutes before I had to be at my bus stop, I stood in front of my fridge and started putting things in my purse: a head of siberian kale, two jalapenos, a banana pepper, six red cherry tomatoes, 7 yellow cherry tomatoes, a half an avocado, dijon mustard, three garlic cloves, a jar of homemade pesto.

My biggest criteria was whether or not I thought I could cut and otherwise prepare the items with a plastic knife and a microwave. 

All in all, it was a successful adventure. 


Portrait of a salad in the winter of its life.

The Oh-Shit I Forgot to Make Lunch Fat Vegan Salad

1 1/2 cups Siberian Kale, ripped into bite size pieces
1/4 ripe avocado, diced
6-7 cherry tomatoes, quartered
1-2 garlic cloves, slivered
1/2 a jalapeno, seeds removed and diced
Two glugs of Extra Virgin Olive Oil
A generous squirt of dijon mustard
A large dollop of vegan pesto

I took the EVOO (which I had bought the week before from the local CVS, the best/only place to get food where I work (Food Deserts: They’re Awesome!)), poured it over the garlic on a Styrofoam place, covered the plate with a paper towel, and nuked it for a minute. This allowed the garlic to soften enough to cut into tinier pieces with a plastic knife.

Mix the EVOO, garlic, dijon, pesto, and kale together until the kale is evenly covered. Add in jalapeno, tomatoes and avocado. Enjoy!

Fuck yeah lentils

Do you know what is stupid fucking good? Lentils.  You might not believe me because maybe one time you had a lentil loaf that was dry and disgusting, or perhaps you are afraid of lentils.  That ain’t good.  My friends, lentils are twenty-six percent protein, and one thousand percent delicious.  Brothers and Sisters, lentils contain the essential amino acids isoleucine and lysine.  Lentils are so good, that Esau sold his birthright FROM G-D to Jacob for a stew of lentils MUCH LIKE THE ONE THIS RECIPE DESCRIBES.  Heed me now when I tell you that at the Bulk Bin of your local grocery store you can buy a great deal of them for a small amount of the currency of your choice.  Let me tell you how to cook some lentils that are so good you just want to eat them forever.  This is a great thing to make because you can spread it on sandwiches to add flavor, or you can eat it with a spoon because it is so tasty. Broke as hell? Cook these up with some rice, and you can fill that part of you between your backbone and your ribs with some icky sticky goodness.  I used a rice cooker to make this because I am lazy but you could easily do it on the stovetop.

Fuck Yeah Lentils

1 small shallot, finely chopped

2-3 cloves garlic, finely chopped

1 cup red or yellow lentils

2 cups no-chicken broth or veggie broth

2-3 tablespoons olive oil

salt and pepper to taste

Heat oil and add shallots and garlic.  Cook until shallots are translucent and the whole mess is fragrant and delicious.  Add lentils and stir until they are coated with the olive oil and spice mix.  Yeah, that is good.  Add the broth and bring to a boil.  Stir, and turn heat down low.  Allow to cook until lentils are mushy and turn into a paste that tastes like garlic and shallot and lentil, which takes about 20-30 minutes.  If you’re doing it in a rice cooker you can just put the lid on the whole mess after the lentils and broth are combined and forget about it till it is time to eat ‘em. Oh yeah. I’m with this guy on the issue:

Esau selling his birthright for a mess of fuck yeah lentils